Mary, I miss you.
I miss being able to talk to you on a regular – sometimes daily – basis. It’s weird to not be able to call you. Sometimes I forget and go to dial your number – then I remember.
I miss our family updates. You’d give me the scoop on your crew – I’d give you the scoop on mine. You told me everything. I told you everything. No secrets between sisters.
We’d finish our conversation with “Love you,” and more often than not – hang up and immediately call one of the other sisters. Many times I’d call you and you’d be on the phone with Cindy or Nat. Same when you’d call me.
That’s how it’s always worked with the four of us. You tell one of us – you’ve told all off us. We never had the energy nor the inclination to keep secrets, and besides without all the info – how could the Committee render an opinion?
And render an opinion we did. The four of us are the Committee. By virtue of birth order, I’m the Chairman. The Committee has a say in any and all matters involving the family. The children and the significant other’s of the Committee know this all too well.
Mary, we miss your voice on the Committee.
The good news is we know what you would say.
Open your heart – forgive – we are ALL doing the best we can.
You lived your life seeing the best in everyone. You built people up – left them feeling better for having interacted with you. We are ALL better human beings for having shared this life with you.
At your memorial service, my daughter Meg read an essay she’d written about what it was like having four Mom’s. I never thought about what it was like from the kids perspective. Your kids agreed totally. They all felt like they had four Mom’s. They did – and they still do.
Today is the first anniversary of your passing. You are never far from our hearts. We are honoring you in our lives by staying close, by unconditionally accepting and forgiving each other and forever loving each other through it all. No matter what. All of us. Doing the best we can.
We know that’s what you would want.